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A mediator working with a couple going through a divorce

Out of Court: Divorce Mediation

Divorce is never fun. Even couples planning to have a friendly, amicable divorce find that with property and kids in the picture, things get complicated. Complicated can quickly mean ugly if you aren’t careful. A professional mediator can help ease the way. If you’re unfamiliar with divorce mediation and how it works, learn more about how divorce mediation works and what to expect.

Mediation and Divorce

Divorce mediation helps you and your spouse make decisions based on what’s in your best interest and in the best interest of your children. Sometimes, as much as you both try to be amicable, you just can’t agree on everything. A mediator listens to both sides of the story and advises you both on the best actions to take.

Using mediators is beneficial because it eliminates long and costly court appearances where a judge is expected to make decisions. Mediators are important because they’re impartial and work for the both of you. In many divorce or family cases, mediation is even required before going to court.

So, I Don’t Have to Go to Court?

You do still have to go to court at least once to finalize the divorce, but with successful, cooperative work in mediation, it can be the only time that you have to appear in court. Mediation can be used to eliminate the need for a court case where the judge has to make the final decisions regarding divorce custody, visitation, child support, spousal maintenance, or property distribution. If it can’t be resolved in mediation, then you will have to take the decisions to a judge. That means more time in court and more money in legal fees.

How Much Does it Cost?

The cost of mediation can vary based on various factors. If you’re living in a small town, you’ll probably pay less for mediation than if you lived in large city. Family lawyers often act as mediators and charge a lower fee than a retired judge might charge. Private mediators may also have their own fee, which can be from $100 to $300 or more per hour.

The area you live, the experience of the mediator and the length of the mediation all play a role in determining the cost. However, how long it takes both parties to reach an agreement is the most important factor. Squabbles over who gets the kids for Easter weekend are billed by the hour, so the longer it takes to reach an agreement, the more you’ll pay your mediator. Regardless of what mediation costs, it’s always cheaper than lengthy court battles that result in high legal expenses.

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Finding a divorce mediator is easier than you might think. If you live in a large city, you’ll have a much larger selection of mediators from which to choose. Each state also has a mediation association that can provide help in finding a divorce mediator. Your state's mediation association can give you a list of all divorce mediators in your state. If you live in a small community, you can often get a name of local divorce mediators from your court system or even a friend. Look for an experienced mediator that has a good record because the easier the mediation goes, the easier the divorce will be.

Last Updated: November 17, 2014